


Maybe Tomorrow

by 1Dlover (RENielsen)



Series: Help me when I can't help myself [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Baby Niall, Break Up, Dada Liam, Daddy Zayn, Dummies, Dysfunctional Family, Enjoy!, Family, Family Drama, Family Issues, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Infantilism, M/M, Mostly Nouis, Multi, Narry - Freeform, Niall-centric, Niam - Freeform, Non-Sexual Age Play, Nouis, OT5 Friendship, OT5 family, Only slightly Narry, Other, Regret, Relationship Problems, Stuffed Cookie, Stuffed Toys, Tears, Thumb-sucking, bottle feeding, bottles, hope you like it, nappies, ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-20 14:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4790684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RENielsen/pseuds/1Dlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always a day again tomorrow, but at one point tomorrow just won't do anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> I think you can read this without reading the first one, but I wouldn't recommend it because honestly I think it'll make better sense if you read number one first. Enjoy reading, and hope you'll like it :)

_Maybe tomorrow,_ Niall keeps thinking to himself. _Maybe they’ll remember tomorrow._ By now he doesn’t even believe it himself anymore. Maybe it’s his own fault, because maybe they just thought he was taking too much of their time all of a sudden. The problem is; Niall doesn’t even know anymore. He has no idea what he did wrong, but slowly they just began forgetting about him again and again.

In the beginning it wasn’t anything major. A forgotten nappy-change from time to time. The fact that none of them was never able to find any of his dummies, when he needed them. It was okay, because Niall still loved them with all of his heart, and his little self was easy to forgive the little details. First when Zayn ended up forgetting his stuffed cookie who knows where, Niall really got angry with the two older boys. He really liked that stupid cookie, and he felt hurt that Zayn would forget it, and then not even remember where exactly he did forget it, so he could go get it again.

After than episode, Niall didn’t want to be anywhere near any of them, and when there was a short break in the Where We Are tour, he went home to visit his family for a week. It was really nice, and his Ma and Da didn’t mind helping him with the whole ageplay thing like they’d done when he was younger too.

When the week ended Niall was ready to go back and face Liam and Zayn, and maybe even forgiving them for forgetting while being stressed out, because he knew that they really were stressed. He understood how that was better than anyone, seeing as he had his own break down and the Take Me Home tour around a year ago.

It had also been back then where the whole family thing with Liam and Zayn had started, and it had been perfect for a really long time. Up until the new tour simply became too much for the older boys to handle while also looking after Niall.

Niall had really thought that with the weeks break everything would go back to being perfect once again, but when he came back everything was just so much worse. It wasn’t only the small things anymore. No, when he came back, he wasn’t greeted by his daddies as he had expected. They weren’t there meeting him with open arms. In fact they weren’t even there at all, and Niall was seriously hurt by this, but hoped it was only because they hadn’t been able to be here before him, and that they’d give him lots of kisses and cuddles when they arrived.

When they did arrive though, it wasn’t quite like Niall had got his hopes up for. First of all they totally forgot to give him either kisses or hugs, and second of all they were yelling some very ugly things at each other. Niall didn’t even try to ask what had happened or why none of them had acknowledged him yet, he just ran of the as far as possibly in the tour bus.

After that day Niall wasn’t their baby anymore. Really, he wasn’t exactly anyone’s baby at all, and he still isn’t. At that point he had also wanted to stop the whole ageplay thing totally, but after almost a year of being babied it is hard to suddenly have to be a grown up again. He totally stops with the toys, bottles, dummies and other baby stuff, but he finds himself putting his thumb into his mouth all the time, because he misses his dummy, and at night he’ll hug his pillow like it’s his teddy bear.

He also really works hard on dropping the nappies, but that doesn’t really go all that well. When he’s awake it goes okay, and he only has accidents from time to time, but at night he always wake up with an empty bladder and wet sheets. So far no one has discovered that he’s having accidents, because he always wakes up in the middle of the night before any of the others are anywhere near being awake, and he really hopes to keep it that way.

Honestly, he has never felt so alone before. Some of it is his own fault, because whenever he can he makes sure to find a place where he can be alone, so he doesn’t have to be anywhere near the others, but the reason he does it, has never been his fault. If he hadn’t been abandoned by Liam and Zayn, then he would have been perfectly fine by now, but he feels _so_ alone as the things are.

For weeks Niall’s mood only become worse, and at some point it is so bad that even his busy bandmates suspect that something is wrong, but none of them really has the time to think all that much about it, so Niall continue living in his own little hell without anyone realising how much just a hug and a smile could help.

One day where Zayn is desperately looking for his phone before they have to leave the bus, he falls over something that immediately makes him feel guilty. Lying under a bunch of dirty clothes Zayn finds the stuffed cookie he lost weeks back. He still remembers how angry and sad Niall had been when none of them had been able to find the damn cookie. That makes him think of the boy himself, and now guilty isn’t even the word for it anymore.

Ever since the stress from the tour had taken over, they had totally forgotten about their baby boy. Zayn doesn’t even have any excuses for it, and he almost feels like throwing up at the thought that he could _actually_ forget about Niall and his needs.

And if he wasn’t feeling bad enough already he realizes that they almost haven’t seen anything to the boy in over a month. Only at times where Niall hadn’t had any other choice than to be with them had Zayn seen him.

It’s with tears in his eyes and the cookie in his arms, that Zayn goes looking for Liam. Everything hasn’t been all good there either. He still remembers the big fight they had after coming back from having a break. He also remembers to see a glimpse of Niall looking expectant at them both, but they’d been too caught up in their argument to give him their love, and since then they haven’t talked much to each other or to their baby. They simply forgot.

“L-Liam?” Zayn sobs as the first thing when he sees Liam sitting on the couch playing on his phone. Louis and Harry are both looking at the TV and seeing some stupid cooking show. Again there is no sign of Niall anywhere. All three of them look up at Zayn and becomes shocked of what they’re seeing.

They have never seen Zayn look so heartbroken before in their life. Not even after not talking to Liam for over a month had he looked like he does know. Tears streaming down his cheeks, red eyes, hair standing to all sides. Honestly he’s looking terrible.

“Zayn, what’s wrong?” Liam panics, because even after a month he still loves the other lad very much, and doesn’t wish for him to look like that ever again. Then he sees what Zayn is clenching to, and he realizes their mistake.

“H-how could w-we fo-forget about h-him?” Zayn cries out loud, and by now Liam is crying too, and Louis and Harry’s eyes have become big and shocked.

The only ones to blame here are Liam and Zayn really, because Louis and Harry had thought they had stopped the age play thing once they weren’t really dating anymore, since there wasn’t a bubbly baby Niall running around in the bus anymore with either Zayn or Liam running after him to not lose him at sight, and they hadn’t said anything about it because they were a bit afraid that it would end up with more fights. Now, though, they definitely regret not saying anything about it, but how could they have known?  They weren’t ever really a big part of the whole thing, and only played with Niall and babysat him from time to time.

“No! No, no, no! This can’t be true!” Liam looks like he’s going to faint at any moment now, and really Zayn is feeling quite dizzy himself.

Zayn almost falls over himself, when he stumbles over to Liam to give him a hug and to cry into his shoulder. “We’re terrible parents,” Zayn hiccups still with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Who died?” a small voice suddenly says, and all four crying boys looks over at Niall who’s standing awkwardly at the door.

Just by looking at him they all know how bad the last month has been for him. Under Niall’s eyes there are bags. His hair is greasy, and all the blond has almost grown out. The worst though is how skinny he looks. Niall has never been fat or even just a bit chubby, even with all the food he always eats, but now he’s sickly thin, and they all suspects that they’d be able to see the boys ribs if he hadn’t had a hoodie on. He looks like someone who has been living on the streets for years, without much food or sleep.

And yeah, maybe there’re all a bit to blame for this, because how can none of them have seen?

“Oh baby, what did we do to you?” Liam whispers so low that only Zayn is able to hear him and Zayn is thinking the exact same.

“I-I found your c-cookie, baby,” Zayn sobs and shows the boy the dirty and smelling cookie.

Niall looks so shocked; a little like a dear in the headlights. And then he just runs. For a couple of second none of the other really know what to do, but then they all get up at the exact same time, and run after the blue eyed boy. They know he’s still somewhere on the bus, because there wasn’t any sound of the bus door being opened.

They look everywhere and it takes surprisingly long, but in the end they find him hidden in a corner of the bus half behind and half underneath a pile of bags and clothes.

“Baby? Niall, can we please talk? We’re so sorry,” Liam whispers sadly. He tries to go a little closer to the blond boy, but Niall just whimpers and hides, so Liam stops what he’s trying to do. None of the four know what to do right now.

They all just wants to hug and kiss Niall, but none of them really dare do so. They’re sp afraid that they’ll end up breaking the boy more than he already is. The problem is though, that they can’t just let him sit there by himself. That’s not good for anyone, especially not Niall who has been alone for months because of them.

Suddenly Niall begins crying, and not silent in any way. The tears are streaming down his cheeks and he’s subbing loudly. “H-hazzy,” he cries out, and make grabby hands at Harry, who quickly reaches out for him and lets Niall settle on his hip.

A little panicked Harry looks at Liam and Zayn, but none of the two knows what to do with themselves. They want so bad to take Niall from Harry’s arms, but there’s no doubt that the blond wouldn’t allow them to do so even if they tried, so the only thing they do is to look at the pair with sad eyes.

When he realizes that he isn’t going to get any help from the ‘parents’ he sighs, and tries to cheer Niall up, but nothing he do helps one bit. Niall just keep up crying into Harry’s shoulder, and cling to him like it’s the only thing that keeps him alive.

The whole thing is truly heartbreaking.

After what feels like hours, and only a while after Harry carried Niall to the back of the bus so they were alone, Niall eventually stops crying. He’s quiet except a hiccup from time to time. Harry just keeps rocking him gently from side to side calmly in a try to get him to fall asleep. His arms are sleeping, and he really just wants to give Niall to one of the others, but he knows that as the things are, he can’t just do that. The boy is broken right now and it seems like he has chosen Harry to be the one to fix everything.

“Are you hungry, baby? Thirsty? Want me to make you a bottle?” Harry whispers so he doesn’t scare Niall with being too loud all of a sudden.

He really hopes that Niall will let him feed him, because he’s simply scarily skinny, but he isn’t really surprised when he doesn’t get an answer at all. Niall just looks at him with clouded eyes and doesn’t seem to realize that Harry is speaking to him, and if he does, then like he doesn’t really understand a word coming from Harry’s mouth. In a way it’s almost like Niall isn’t there at all. Like there’s only an empty body sitting in his lap; the soul long gone.

This is nothing like any Niall he has ever seen before. Last year, before this age play thing happened, he was a different Niall, but he was still _Niall_ in a way. Now he’s just totally gone, and really that’s what scares Harry the most.

In the end he decides that even if Niall isn’t going to answer, then he’s going to make sure he either gets something to eat or drink anyway, but at the same second he tries to get up from the couch, Niall whines loudly and begins crying again.

“Shit!” he utters quietly, but stays where he is.

Instead he slowly takes his cell phone from his pocket, and succeeds to do so without disturbing Niall again. He sends a desperate text to Louis. A couple of minutes later Louis is walking in there with a bottle in his hands. Without a word he hands over the bottle to Harry, who sends him a grateful smile. Louis just looks back at him with sorrowful eyes, and Harry has the idea that his own eyes is looking exactly like that too. 

When Harry holds the nipple to Niall’s lips, Niall blinks a couple of times and actually looks quite surprised at Harry. “C’mon Niall. Please drink something,” Harry whispers when Niall doesn’t make a move to put the nipple in his mouth.

“Don’t wanna,” he whines and turns his head in protest.

“Can you at least tell me _why_ you don’t want to?”

“No baby! Don’t want bottle!”

Harry sends a glance at Louis, who’s still in the room. He really feels helpless and if the look he gets back says anything, then Louis doesn’t really know what to do either.

“Will you drink the milk, if I put it in a cup instead?” Louis then asks hesitant. Niall jumps slightly when he hears Louis speak. It’s like he hasn’t even realized that they weren’t alone in the room, not that it would surprise either of them.

Niall just shrugs a bit, like he isn’t even sure himself, but it’s still more promising that nothing at all, so Louis takes the bottle from Harry’s hand and walks out of sight. A bit later he’s back, this time with a plastic cup in his hands. The cup is only half full, because he’s a bit unsure if Niall is going to spill it.

After hesitating for a second he walks over to them and sits down next to Harry. Niall doesn’t protest to this, so he stays there even after he has given the cup to Harry. Once again Harry tries to make Niall drink some of the milk, but the blond just looks at the cup with a funny expression in his eyes. He looks so confused, that both Harry and Louis would have cooed at him if they didn’t know how serious things are right now.

“What’s wrong now? Can you please just drink at least some of it? Niall, I’m begging you, please can you do this for me?” Harry says desperately.

“I’m not thirsty,” he mutters, this time actually sounding like a grown up, where he before more sounded like a fussy toddler about to throw a tantrum.

“You’re either going to drink the milk from the cup like the grown up you want to be, or I’m going to get the bottle back again, and we’ll feed you like the baby you’re acting like. It’s you choice, but no matter what you’re going to drink the milk. We want you to be healthy which you in no way are right now,” Louis says calmly, but it’s easy to hear that he means every word, and that he won’t hesitate forcing Niall to drink the milk if he doesn’t do it himself.

“I want to do it myself,” Niall says stubbornly, after thinking for a second. He reached for the cup, but Harry’s a bit hesitant to give it to him.

He looks at Louis, before whispering: “But Liam and Zayn usually say he can’t do it himself,” like Niall isn’t able to hear it just because he whispers. It hurts; it really does, because just for a second he had actually forgotten about the two people who in around a year were the most important people in his life, and even before that they meant so much to him. Now, though, he isn’t so sure what to feel about them, or if he can even feel anything else than sadness and anger towards them.

And as it turns out, he isn’t the only one who isn’t really all that fond of Liam and Zayn in the moment, because as soon as Harry says their names, Louis turns to a thundercloud. He looks so damn angry that both Harry and Niall lean a bit away from the older man. “Fuck them! I don’t freaking care what they usually would or wouldn’t want him to do. They lost every saying in anything the moment they forgot. If he wants to, no if _you_ want to,” Louis says now looking and talking directly to Niall. “If you want to drink your milk by yourself, do it. You want to eat candy and drink soda right before bed? Tell me and I’ll buy you a candy store! Screw them. Do what you want to do, Niall, and show them you don’t need them. They don’t deserve you, not after this. Just remember, Nialler; no matter what you need to take care of yourself, or at least let me and Harry help you.” The last sentence is said with such vulnerability that Niall actually ends up feeling quite bad.

For a couple of seconds he focuses on Louis and on how sad the older boy looks. He then closes his eyes, just for a second, before turning to Harry. He doesn’t reach for the cup this time, but opens his mouth and waits for Harry to get the hint.

It doesn’t take long before he can feel the cup against his lips and the warm milk in his mouth.

It’s kinda hard to drink from the cup while sitting like he does on Harry’s lap, and he almost admits that he wants the bottle back, but he doesn’t really think he’s ready for that right now. Small steps right? He means at least he’s actually drinking the milk now, and like Louis just said; fuck Liam and Zayn, and the way they would do things. Nothing good comes out of that, which has been proven by now.

He doesn’t even drink half of the milk. He tries, he really does, but around half way through he feels like he’s going to throw up, if he keeps going. The worst thing is; he’s not even sure when he stopped eating like he used to. At some point it just became the way it was to not really eat anything through the day. He kinda regrets that now, because the look he gets from both of the boys just makes him want to vomit even more. And well that would probably not be a very good idea considered the only reason they look at him like that in the first place is because they’re worried about him not getting enough of anything.

“Thank you babe, I’m so proud of your for giving it you best,” Louis whispers and takes the bottle to put it on the table in front of the couch. He looks a bit hesitant, but then he opens his arms in an invitation for Niall to crawl over in his lap, and really he both wants to and don’t want to at all.

It’s just that Louis is so kind right now, and it feels like it have been years since the older boy last has given him a hug, but at the same time he doesn’t really have the energy to move at all. In the end he makes a move that makes it clear that if Louis wants to hold him, then he’ll have to come get him himself, because there’s no way in hell Niall is going to crawl all the way over there by himself.

Louis chuckles quietly, but follows the silent command and lifts Niall up in his arms so he can settle the boy on his lap without any troubles. Harry mouths a ‘thank you’ to Louis before picking up the bottle and disappearing out of sight.

A little smile is to be found on Louis’ lips when he looks down at Niall who’s snuggled closely into him with his eyes closed, and his thumb a bit unsure in his mouth. Louis knows it’s because Liam and Zayn always scolded at him for sucking his thumb, and even though Louis maybe understands _why,_ then he would never be able to never tell the boy no for it, because he really looks _so_ damn cute while doing it. Especially while sleeping peacefully on Louis’ lap.

For hours he just sits there with Niall sleeping in his arms, wondering how anyone could ever not remember him. He’s normally like a ball of sunshine bringing happiness to their family. He’s so angry at them all, but really also at himself, for not realising that something was wrong before now. They could have made sure to do something a long time ago, and then Niall wouldn’t look like a skeleton right now.

He could have stayed there with Niall in his arms for hours, if it hadn’t been for the sudden warm and wet feeling making it through is trousers. At first he’s more than just a bit confused, but then his eyes widen when he realises what have happened.

Carefully he feel at the rim of Niall’s trousers, and yep, there isn’t any nappy.

Well, that’s kinda gross, but he doesn’t have it in him to get mad at Niall. He only feels sad for the younger boy, who has gotten so used to having people taking care of everything for him, that he doesn’t even work like a normal person the second the people he depends on forgets about him. He can only imagine how hard the last month has been for him, and how often Niall has cried because of it.

Slowly to not wake him up before it’s necessary Louis gets up, and carries Niall to the bathroom in the bus. On the way there, he passes by the three other, but he doesn’t say a word as he lock himself and Niall into the bathroom, away from the others and their staring, because honestly the longer Louis looks at any of them the angrier he gets. Especially at Liam and Zayn. Right now if looks could kill, then both of them would have been long gone, so they couldn’t hurt his Nialler anymore. Louis doesn’t even doubt the fact that both Liam and Zayn know that too, because none of them have spoken a word since Harry carried Niall away, or well not what Louis knows of anyway. It’s not like he can tell if they have talked when he wasn’t with them.

“C’mon sweetheart, you have to wake up now, so you can take a bath,” Louis mumbles kindly into the blond hair.

At first he doesn’t get a reaction at all, but he doesn’t really care all that much. He just hums quietly while swaying from side to side like you would do if it was an actually baby you were holding in your arms. After some minutes Niall yawns cutely, and blinks his eyes open in a flutter.

“Bath time, baby,” he says gently, and it looks like Niall finally realises that something’s wrong, because he becomes totally red all over, and hides his head in Louis’ jumper.

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to,” Niall hiccups.

“It’s okay. Some water and soap, and we’ll both be all clean again. It’s really not that big of a problem, Niall, but... but maybe we should put a nappy on you so it won’t happen again, yeah?” It’s clear to both of them that Louis isn’t even sure about this himself, and he knows that if Niall doesn’t want to have a nappy on, then he’s not going to force the boy. Not even if he’ll have to get up to wash Niall and his sheets three times through the night, would he force him to do so.

No like he said earlier then they’re going to do exactly like Niall want, because he’s neither Zayn nor Liam. Or Harry now he thinks about it, because maybe the curly haired lad doesn’t mind getting against their wishes when it’s about what he can buy to Niall, but as soon it’s about Niall’s health then he would do exactly like them simply because he thinks they know best, and maybe they do but they fucked up, so they do this in Louis and Niall’s way now.

“Don’t like changing it myself.”

“What if I promise doing it for you? As soon as you have wet it then tell me, and I promise I’ll change it for you,” he whispers while turning on the water to make sure it’s warm for when Niall’s ready to get in.

“Okay,” Niall agrees, but it almost seems like he doesn’t really believe a word coming from Louis’ mouth, so Louis says yet again, “I promise, Niall. I’ll do everything for you. Just ask, okay?” this time just way more firmly in a try to make Niall believe in him, but he does realise that it’ll probably take some time for him to trust anyone at all.

Niall doesn’t answer with words, just nods, and then lets Louis take of his clothes and help in into the streaming water in the shower. When Louis is sure Niall is totally clean he turns off the water and embraces him with a fluffy towel. Niall stands still while Louis dries him off with the towel, and when he’s done he walks Niall to the toilet and let him know that he shall sit down and wait for a minute while Louis quickly takes a shower himself. And really it doesn’t take much longer than a minute, because all he does is to rinse his body in a fast movement, just enough that he knows he’s no longer covered in piss, before he’s outta there. He puts a towel around his waist, before picks up Niall once again and carries him out of the bathroom and into the sleeping area.

Luckily there isn’t anyone around when they get out, and Louis is grateful because he doesn’t think he’s ready for more tears from Niall’s side right now.

It quickly turns out to be really hard to even _find_ the nappies in their mess, but in the ends Louis can with triumph hold a package in his hands. He turns to Niall who’s sitting tiredly on Louis’ bunk bed still only wearing a towel exactly like Louis himself.

“Here you go, Bud. Can you lay down for me?” he asks, and Niall does so not even a second later.

Louis is suddenly very glad for all his baby sisters and his baby brother, because if it hasn’t been for them, then he would probably have had problems now. Like, as surprisingly as it probably is considered _how_ long Niall has been Liam and Zayn’s baby, this is actually the first time for Louis to change Niall’s nappy, but luckily for him then his mother has more than once commanded for him to change his siblings’ nappies when she simply didn’t have time for it.

He doesn’t hurry while changing the nappy, but instead makes sure that Niall is comfortable all the time, and even makes him giggle a couple of times when he blows a raspberry on Niall’s tummy and tickles his sides.

When the nappy is sitting as it should, Louis hurries to find some clothes to Niall, so he doesn’t end up getting cold, and when Niall is dressed in a pair of joggers, a jumper and some fluffy and warm socks, Louis finally gets to find some clothes to himself.

“What do you wanna do now, Nialler? We can see a movie or something if you’d like?” Louis asks once both of them are no longer only wearing a towel.

“I just wanna sleep,” Niall mutters a little hesitant, like he’s afraid that it’ll be the wrong answer, but he’s just so damn tired and for the first time in a month he feels safe enough to actually be able to get more than a couple of hours of sleep, so he would like to enjoy that for a bit.

“Tell you something. Let’s make a deal. I’ll go get another glass of milk, and when you have drunk that, we’ll both go to bed.”

“Lou... can you put the milk in a bottle?”

“Of course, baby. Just wait here and I’ll be back in a minute.”

With that Louis plants a kiss on Niall’s forehead before leaving him there alone, but like promised he’s back not long after with a bottle of warm milk in his hand. He crawls into his bunk where Niall is still sitting and gestures for Niall to come and lay down next to him.

After a moment he does, or well almost. Instead of lying down beside him like Louis had thought he would, Niall crawls into Louis’ arms and makes himself comfortable with his head resting against Louis’ chest. He opens his mouth and waits patiently for Louis to put the nipple between his lips. When he does, Niall slowly begins sucking, his eyes closing from tiredness, and not long after he falls asleep while still drinking the milk probably because it feels comforting even in his sleep.

When the milk is gone, Louis removes the bottle, which makes the sleeping Niall whine unhappily. Louis can help but chuckle lightly at the sound, because really it’s just so damn cute. He wishes he had thought about finding a dummy for him before going to bed, but honestly he wouldn’t even know where to start looking for one. That he was able to find nappies and the bottle was utter luck from his side.

It doesn’t take long for Louis to fall asleep too, and they’re both so long gone when three boys list into the sleeping area that they doesn’t even notice it when they for a long time watch the two sleeping lads.

¤¤¤

For the next couple of weeks Niall clings to Louis all the time, and surprisingly Louis doesn’t mind that even one bit. He loves having the blond around him all the time, especially because the longer Louis takes care of him, the more Niall begins trusting him, and the more he slips into his headspace.

Niall begins eating again, he’s sleeping much more, and really he’s just begun looking like a normal human being again, and Louis couldn’t be happier. To say the same about Liam, Zayn and Harry would be a lie. All of them just want to be able to be around Niall as much as Louis, but the blond won’t let them. He tolerates it when Harry’s around, but every time he as much as sees Zayn and Liam, he throws a fit, begins crying, screaming and acting like an abused child.

Therefore Louis makes sure to keep both of them away from Niall and himself, because his heart breaks every time he sees tears in Niall’s eyes because of the two of them.

Louis does know though, that this simply can’t continue. The band is slowly breaking apart, and Harry has told him how little Zayn and Liam are eating, and he himself has heard them cry themselves to sleep almost every night. He feels bad for them, he really does, but at the same time he has a hard time forgiving them for hurting his baby... wait, shit he can’t think like that! Niall isn’t _his_ baby. Louis doesn’t even want to have a baby! Okay well that’s a lie. Over that weeks taking care of Niall, he has realised just _how_ much he has enjoyed doing so.

It’s so different from being the ‘uncle’. He has way more responsibility, and he gets all the bad things from having a baby of course, but he also gets all the good. He gets to have Niall sleeping in his bunk with him every night. He gets to be able to cuddle him when he’s sad, and makes him laugh all the time.

So yeah, Louis dreads the time Niall is going to forgive his ‘parents’ because he doesn’t want to let go of the boy. He wants to be able to have this for as long as possible, but he can’t do that if Niall decides that he isn’t mad at Liam and Zayn anymore. The only good thing Louis can think of is that there’s probably going to go a very long time before that’s going to happen. Or well it’s both a good thing and a bad thing, because like already said, it’s tearing apart the band, and Louis doesn’t wish for that to happen as little as he wants to give up on Niall.

“Hey, Nialler? I think maybe we should talk?” Louis mumbles into the blond hair. Niall is currently sitting on Louis’ lap watching Finding Nemo on the television.

“’bout what?” Niall asks way to focused on the movie to listen to what Louis has to say.

At least he doesn’t sound like Little Niall right now, so Louis takes that as a win, because he knows this is going to be a hard conversation with Big Niall, and if he had been Little Niall then Louis could just as well have given up immediately because if there’s something Little Niall isn’t, then it’s forgiving.

“About Liam and Zayn?”

“No.” And well, Louis had kinda expected that answer, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t hope for this to go easier.

“Please Niall, you don’t have to forgive them, but maybe at least try? I don’t think you realise how much they’re hurting right now.”

“You’re right. I don’t know, but I’ll tell you something I do know. No matter how much they’re hurting or how sorry they are right now then it’s not enough, because they’ll never be in the mindset of a toddler while being abandoned like I was.”

“Uh...”

What the hell can he use as an argument for that? Basically Louis agrees with every word, and it’s very hard to defend something he doesn’t even believe in himself.

“Besides I like being with you, Lou,” Niall says softly and looks at Louis with his beautiful blue eyes. They’re quite stunning, Louis has to admit that. Not even his own eyes have the same deep blue colour as Niall’s.

“I like it too, but I still think you should think about it Niall. I don’t know if you have noticed, but the last couple of shows have been awful. We’re all way too tense. None of the others dare to get anywhere near you, except Harry and that’s only when I’m around too. Our crew have noticed and the fans have too. All over the internet our fans is freaking out because they think we’re breaking apart, and honestly I am too, because if this continues, then we _will_ end up ruining this, because none of us can handle it. Personally I haven’t talked to neither Zayn nor Liam for weeks, and have only said a couple of words to Harry. I know that you haven’t said anything to any of them. Don’t you see where this is going, Niall? Because I do, and I don’t like it at all.”

Niall is totally quiet, and he doesn’t look Louis into the eyes no matter how hard Louis tries to catch his glance. Suddenly he realises something that make his eyes become big and shocked. “Unless of course that what you want. I’m right ain’t I? You want to hurt them so bad you can, and this is your way to get revenge? By taking their beloved band away from them? Do you realise just how selfish that is? Not only will you ruin it for them, but also for me, Harry and the millions of fans out there hoping we’ll be here forever.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not. If you were sorry you’d do something about it, and stop this madness before it’s too late. I know you’re angry and that you’re hurt, but this isn’t the right way to show it,” Louis says honestly so hurt right now that he doesn’t even know how to express his feelings.

“Sorry,” he just whispers, before getting up from where he was just sitting on Louis’ lap. He disappears out of sight, and for once Louis doesn’t know whether he should feel relieved or sad for being left alone.

¤¤¤

When Louis hasn’t seen Niall for four and a half hour he begins panicking. His baby is nowhere near the bus, the stadium, the hotel or anywhere else Louis could possibly think of, and he’s deadly afraid that something’s wrong, because Niall isn’t picking up his phone either. It’s terrible, and in a desperate try he calls the other lads, but none of them is picking up either and he can’t find them anywhere.

Not that that in itself makes him worried because it happens often that they just kinda disappears for a couple of hours, he has even done it himself sometimes where he just needed to be alone, but right now it’s driving him crazy because he needs them to help him find Niall, and besides it’s the first time they have all disappeared at the same time like this, so that should probably also worry Louis. It does, but really all he can think about is if his baby is safe where he is.

“Paul! Have you seen the other lads?” Louis yells, when he sees Paul walking toward him at the stadium they’re playing at tonight. It had been a last try to find Niall, but so far he hasn’t had any luck.

“Yeah, they’re all gathered in your dressing room. I think they’re just waiting for you, Lou.”

“Thank fucking God! I’m going to kill ‘em all!” he mutters and quickly walks toward their dressing room where he has already been looking an hour ago.

Just like Paul said, all four of them are sitting in the dressing room. None of them are talking, or even looking at each other, but in the moment Louis is through the door, they all looks up at him. He’s furious so say it mildly.

“Fucking idiots! Unless someone has broken or stolen all of your phones, then I’d like a really good explanation for not getting an answer to any of my calls! And you,” he turns to Niall who wince a bit. “I really want to spank you right now for running of like that and not having the discernment to at least tell me you were okay.”

No one says a word; afraid it’s just going to make Louis even angrier at them. None of them looks Louis into the eyes anymore, but he’s actually not really surprised by that, since it’s a tendency they all have when he just get angry enough.

Louis doesn’t really get _why_ though, because maybe he can be an evil bastard when he wants to, then he has never touched anyone in a bad way while being mad. Even he knows just how bad of an idea that is, and he would never lay as much as a finger on someone while feeling like he could choke them. He’s really just all bark, and the boys should know that by now, but still they seems to be kinda afraid, and he doesn’t like that at all.

There’s no way he wishes for them to be afraid of him. They’re his family after all.

“Sorry, let’s try again. Can someone please tell me where you have all been for the last five hours or so?” he asks sweetly, and looks like someone who has never been angry in their life.

“I... I just wanted to make everything right again,” Niall then mutters, making Louis look at him instantly. The blond finally meets Louis eyes, and Louis can see how shiny they are. “I’m really sorry, and you’re right. It was very selfish of me to try ruining everything for those whose fault this wasn’t.”

“And what... what does that mean exactly? Are we all okay now?”

Niall shakes his head a bit, but then says: “It takes time for everything to heal, but we’re working on it. I _will_ promise you though, that no matter what the band is going to survive. Nothing else would be fair.”

“What about the whole age play thing?” Louis then asks a bit afraid he’s going to get an answer he’s not going to like, but he still needs to ask the question. He needs to know if he has to prepare to let go of Niall soon.

That’ll probably be some of the hardest Louis ever have done, but he knows that he’ll have to do so eventually. As soon as Niall is ready to forgive them entirely, then he’ll want to have his ‘parents’ to look after him instead of Louis, and now that the first step have been taken, there’ll probably not go long. Hopefully just long enough for Louis to be ready to let go without beginning to cry.

The question makes both Liam and Zayn turn their head toward Niall, and Harry to look at Louis with sad eyes. For some reason Harry has always had it very easily whenever it came to read Louis, and therefore the younger boy also knows how Louis is feeling at the moment, and naturally, with the good heart Harry has, he feels bad for him, because he has probably realised the same thing as Louis. Why in a billion years would Niall choose _him_ over the ones that mean everything to him? No, that’s right: he wouldn’t.

Louis just keeps his eyes locked with Niall’s. Too weak and too strong at the same time to just look away when he gets the deathblow.

“Oh, Lou,” Niall sighs with a small and a bit unsure smile, before getting up to walk over to where Louis is currently standing. Carefully he wraps his arms around Louis’ waist, and lets his head rest against his chest.

 It just feels so _right,_ and Louis never wants him to let go. He wants to have Niall beside him forever if that’s possible. It’s then Louis realises what is happening. He’s going from being totally straight and only finding girls interesting to falling in love with one of his best friends and bandmates.

He feels like he should just let go simply because of that, because does he _really_ want to fall in love with someone he can’t have nevertheless a _boy_? He can’t though. He can’t let go, because everything in him screams that _yes_ he wants to fall in love with Niall, and he wants to fight for him if that’s what it takes.

Goosebumps spreads all over him, when he feels Niall’s lips first against his cheek in a sweet kiss then when they brush his ear when Niall goes to whisper something into his ear. “I know you’re scared, but just remember that you should only fight for what _you_ want, not what everybody else want. And with this I mean both the fans and Liam and Zayn. Besides no one except yourself should decide what you want to be.”

“I don’t really understand what that has to do with my question?” Louis mumbles a bit confused.

“Try figuring it out. I’m not going anywhere by the way. Not as long as you want me. Maybe things won’t continue exactly like now, but if you want to then I’d like for you to continue taking care of me when I’m feeling little, or even when I’m not.”

“Thank you, but what about Liam and Zayn. We both know they won’t say a thing if you decide you don’t want them as your daddies anymore, but we also knows that they’ll be crushed to pieces if you do.”

“Like I said maybe things won’t be like they have been the last couple of weeks, but we’ll figure everything out. Now we need to get ready for the show, or we’ll end up disappointing a hell of a lot of fans tonight.”

The last is said with a sly smile, and Louis knows Niall is just using the fans against him just like he was using them against Niall just a few hours ago. Louis just nods with a smile, hugs him again, before beginning to get ready for the concert.

The night is so much better than their concerts have been for months now, and Louis’ just so damn happy and he can feel how everyone else is too. The energy is amazing, the screams from the fans are deafening, but for the first time in so long it doesn’t feel like they’re going to stop doing what they love anytime soon.

It’s not perfect, of course it’s not Louis didn’t think it would be but then again he didn’t really count on any progress today at all, but Niall allows the others to go near him and he doesn’t hang on Louis like he’s afraid of the world anymore, and Louis feels free to laugh and have fun like he used to with the others. Niall even allows them to joke around with him, and joins some of the things they’re doing.

Even though the concert wouldn’t be perfect in a reviewer’s eyes, then Louis is sure that it couldn’t be more perfect in the fans’ and his own eyes. Simply because for once it doesn’t feel suffocating to be on the scene at all, and the fans can feel that they’re all happier than they have been.

Once the concert is over they’re going back to the dressing room to get into some more comfortable clothes. They could all need to get changed out of their sweaty clothes, and especially Niall seems to be uncomfortable, and he waddles a bit more than he usually does when he’s wearing a nappy. Over the last few weeks though, Louis have learned to read Niall a bit easier, and it’s clear to say that it’s not only his clothes he needs to get changed.

“C’mon Niall, lay down so I can change your nappy,” he says softly once they reach the dressing room. He finds the back he always has with him lately, and finds a fresh nappy and some wipes. The only problem though, is that Niall hasn’t done as asked. Instead he’s standing there a bit uncomfortable, ad keeps sending glances at Liam, Zayn and Harry.

“Um...” Niall takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a moment before looking up at Louis with eyes that almost _begs_ him to not get sad or angry. Then he says: “Maybe one of you’d like to do it?” He looks unsure at Liam and Zayn.

And yeah, Louis would lie if he said that it didn’t hurt a bit, but he understands what Niall is trying to do, and is he really allowed to feels jealous because Niall is actually trying to do as he asked? Probably not, but that doesn’t keep him for feeling disappointed when Zayn and Liam almost fight each other for the right to get to touch their baby, even when it’s only for something as stupid as a nappy change.

 _They look a bit like hungry animals who have finally found something to eat_ , Louis can’t help but think, and a crooked smile spreads on his lips. Well actually that’s a lie, they more looks like a pair of divorced parents who fights for the custody of their child, and let’s just say that those _fights_ can get quite ugly. Though, he has to admit that he wishes Niall had allowed him to be a part of the fight too.

In the end it’s Liam, who’s not only a bit more dominating than Zayn but also was the first to have anything to do with Little Niall, who end up taking the nappy and the wipes from Louis to change Niall.

Niall lays down on the carpet covered part of the floor, and reaches a hand toward Louis when Liam kneels at his feet. Louis rushed toward his baby and takes his hand. Through the whole nappy change, Louis keeps whispering sweet and encouraging things to a very tense and clearly not comfortable Niall. When Niall has a clean nappy on and his clothes now consist of a t-shirt and a pair of joggers, the boy almost flies into Louis’ lap. He’s shaking so badly and first then Louis really realises just _how_ hard that was to do for Niall.

“I’m so proud of you, baby. That’s my good boy. Can you tell me what my good boy deserves for being so good?” Louis asks teasingly. Niall snuffles a bit, and then he looks at Louis with wet eyes.

“Chocolate and cuddles?” Niall asks with a small yet very hopeful voice.

“How could you guess?” Louis gasps like he’s overly surprised, when really he would have said the same no matter what Niall had suggested.

It does have the wished effect, because Niall begins giggling and it seems like the sadness from just before is long forgotten. It’s clear to Louis that Niall is slipping into is headspace, but nothing could have prepared him for the next thing Niall says.

“Silly Papa,” he laughs and hugs Louis a bit tighter.

Louis almost can’t breathe. He’s so fucking happy right now! The new name tells him that it’s not only Big Niall who has accepted him as his caretaker, but that Little Niall understands it as well and wants the exact same thing.

“Come Bud, let get to the car, so we can find a place to buy you all the chocolate there is to find,” Louis promises, making Niall smile big at him, and Liam and Zayn glare like he’s committing some sort of crime right now. Well in their heads he probably is, considering how much they always hated it when Niall got sugar before bed.

He helps Niall getting up, and sees him skip ahead happily. Louis doesn’t even care anymore that he’s still wearing his sweaty clothes, because how can something as stupid as that mean anything as long as Niall is happy like that.

“You can’t mean you’re going to feed him chocolate right now!” Liam hisses angrily.

“Do you even realise how late it is? He’s never going to sleep if you get him on a sugar rush. It’s not like he’s easy so get to sleep in the first place,” Zayn adds not all happy either.

“Oh I mean it, and I also meant that I’m going to buy all the chocolate I can find, and I’m going to let him eat as much as he wants to, if that’s what’s going to make him forget how sad and afraid he just were after just letting one of you change his nappy.

“He deserves the world, you know? I can’t give him that, but I can damn well make sure he’s not going unhappy to bed tonight because the two of you had your heads way too deep in your arses to notice him.”

With that he grabs the bag with supplies for Niall before storming out of the room. In the hallway Niall is patiently waiting for him to join him. When he does, he scoops Niall up in his arms, makes a silly face that makes Niall laugh again, before continuing down the hallway.

At the private parking lot Louis finds two cars waiting on them. He helps Niall into the first of them, before getting in next to him. He tells the driver that he’d like for them to go to the nearest store before going back to the hotel. The driver, an older really nice looking man, nods and begins the drive. It doesn’t take long for them to arrive at the nearest grocery store that’s still open at this time.

Because he doesn’t want any hassle, be sweetly asks the man to go buy the all the chocolate he can find, and even though the driver seems surprised he does so anyway, and returns a bit later with five bags full of chocolate. It’s probably every kid’s dream to have that much chocolate, and Louis himself is quite impressed with the amount of chocolate.

When they arrive at the hotel though, Niall has eaten a total of two and a half chocolate bars, before he passes out with his head resting on Louis shoulder, and the rest of the chocolate bar in his hand.

“Can I ask you to help me get the bags up, so I can carry Niall?” he asks the driver, who just nods slightly before getting out. He takes all of the bags and waits for Louis to get Niall in his arms so he can lead the way to the hotel room.

Louis gets out of the car and takes the chocolate from Niall’s hand, before picking him up.

It’s with a little trouble he carries the younger boy into the hotel, but it’s not as hard as it could have been considered he’s slowly getting used to carry him around. Though it still doesn’t change the fact that they’re around the same size and that it makes it a bit hard for Louis to carry him all the time no matter how much he would like to do so. It’s at time like this he kinda wishes he was as big as Liam or Harry, because then it would have been _so_ much easier, but whatever. He manages, and he doesn’t need their bodies or their help.

“There you go, sir,” the driver says once they reach Louis’ hotel room. “Is there anything else you’ll need my help to?”

Louis can’t help but smile a bit at the ‘sir’, but also find it more than a bit stupid. The driver is probably forty years older than him, and he’s calling Louis ‘sir’. “No thank you, you can go now,” he says still with a smile on his lips.

“Good night, Mr. Tomlinson.”

“Good night.”

The man nods slightly before leaving them alone in the room. Niall’s still sleeping in Louis’ arms, and for a moment he can’t let himself let go of Niall. He realises how happy he is because of what Niall said earlier. He’s not going to lose him, and really that’s all that matters. Not even the slightly confusing worlds Niall said just before the promise really matters.

When he finally is able to let go, he lays Niall down on the mattress of the bed. He finds a clean nappy and some wipes from the bag he’s still having over one of his shoulders.

Careful, so Niall doesn’t wake up, he takes the boys trousers off, before doing the same with the nappy. He cleans him off with the wipes and puts the clean nappy on him. He takes a couple of wipes more, so he can clean Niall’s hands and his face from the chocolate he managed to get literally everywhere. It’s with a fond smile he tugs Niall into bed, and crawls in beside him. It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep to Niall’s calming breathing.

¤¤¤

_“I know you’re scared, but just remember that you should only fight for what you want, not what everybody else want. And with this I mean both the fans and Liam and Zayn. Besides no one except yourself should decide what you want to be.” A beautiful and very Irish voice sounds in his ear. It’s totally dark around him, and Louis panics a bit, until a light suddenly shows Niall in front of him._

_“You have said this before. I still don’t know what you mean,” he sighs._

_Niall smiles big and soft, and whispers, “It’s not that hard to understand.” Suddenly it isn’t only darkness and Niall anymore. Instead they’re now standing in high daylight in the middle of a crowd of girls screaming. Not like they’re afraid of something bad to happen though, but like the girls who comes to their hotels and stand outside for days in the hope of getting to meet them._

_It hits him like a lightning bolt. This is so damn familiar, and he also knows why. This is something that has happened before. It’s the exact same hotel, the same crowd and the same things being yelled. The only difference is him and Niall being outside along with the girls instead of inside the hotel with the rest of the boys._

_“Larry, Larry, Larry!” all the girls yell in unison._

_Louis remembers how angry he had been, but mostly how deeply afraid it all had made him. The girls had been, and some still are today, so damn sure that he and Harry had been together as a couple, ad nothing he did had made them think different._

_He had been angry that they didn’t understand anything, and he had been afraid that the fact that everyone thought he was with Harry would mean people would begin treating him in a bad way, because that wouldn’t be something he was unfamiliar with. Back in tenth grade his classmates had suddenly gotten the idea that of course Louis was as gay as they came and no one had treated him very well after that. Especially because he wasn’t that big of a guy and therefore he was easy to handle._

_“What are we doing here,” he hisses at Niall, who seems to be totally unaffected by the situation._

_“You wanna know what I mean? This is some of it. You’re so afraid of a couple of girls thinking you’re with Harry. What makes you think that_ this _would be any different if you were with me? Be who you are and who you want to be, and stop listening to the world. Then what if a couple of girl may not be happy with your decision? Isn’t it you who’s going to live with it?”_

_“I’m not afraid of any of them.”_

_“I believe you. You’re not afraid of them, not really. Most of all you’re afraid of yourself. Gay is wrong, right Lou?” Louis shakes his head, because no he doesn’t think it’s_ wrong. _He just doesn’t think he can handle it himself. “No? Good, because that thought would only make you a bad friend considered three out of four of your best friends are gay. So what is it? Tell me what’s making you scared, Lou.”_

_“I...”_

_“Shh... try listen to what they’re saying.”_

_Niall isn’t looking at him anymore. Instead he’s focusing on a couple of girls a meter away from them. The girls are crying, but they’re still yelling the words with the rest of the crowd. Louis can’t seem to figure what’s making them cry, so a bit curious he goes a couple of step closer, not really worried about being seen since no one have seen him so far._

_When he’s standing in front of them, they stop yelling ‘Larry’. Instead one of the girls but her arms around a bit smaller girl. The smaller of them smiles adoringly at the bigger girl, before standing on her toes so she can plant an innocent kiss on the girl’s lips._

_“Wouldn’t it be fantastic if at least one of them turned out to be gay? Just think of what it would do for us. Some of the most famous people in the world understanding and supporting us,” she says happily._

_“I know. But we have to remember they’re humans just like us, Lily. Remember how hard it was for us to come clean to our beloved ones? Yeah then think of how hard it must be for a world famous boy, who probably is just as afraid as we were.”_

_“They shouldn’t have to hide. I hope they’ll realise that soon enough,” the smaller girl sighs, before kissing her girlfriend once again._

_Louis is just about to turn back to Niall, when the scenario fades and it becomes dark again for a moment before the light shows them something new._

_This time someone that looks like a Louis who’s a bit older than he is right now sits alone on a couch. He’s closely watching Liam and Zayn playing with Niall on the floor. He looks so damn sad, the real Louis notices, and that makes him realise that what’s happening in front of him is what he has dreaded for weeks now._

_He’s just standing there for minutes watching himself watch the little family, and then he suddenly notices Niall standing beside him._

_“I thought you said you didn’t want me to stop taking care of you,” he says and sounds almost dead._

_“I didn’t, but once again you did the same thing you did to Harry a long time ago. You worried so much about everyone else that you just couldn’t anymore. That’s what you’re going to tell me one day if you let the world define who you are. That you just can’t take it. That we both will be happier if we just don’t, but try look at you, Lou. Is that happy?”_

¤¤¤

Louis wakes up with a loud gasp. The result being that he ends up waking Niall too. Louis is shaking, everything in him feel like it’s going to fall apart. He really just wants to be alone, and have the chance to cry, but he can’t because a shocked boy is lying beside him and looks like _he’s_ going to cry every moment now.

“Papa okay?” Niall sniffles and tries to hold the tears in, because his papa is just looking so sad and afraid, so Niall doesn’t want to be difficult.

“Yeah, baby. I’m good, everything’s perfect,” Louis says in a brave tone, but really he’s so damn close to falling apart. He _knows_ it was just a dream, but for fuck sake that’s probably the most realistic dream he has ever had. Mostly because he knows that the last bit is true. He has done it before with Harry and they weren’t even anything more than just friends, so what should stop him from pushing Niall away too the second the rumours begins?

He’s not dumb. He knows the rumours are going to come as soon as he begins using more time with Niall then he usually does. It’s going to be just as bad as the whole ‘Larry’ thing, maybe even worse because the Larries are going to defend what they believe in and the same thing for those who believe in Nouis.

There’s going to be war on the social networks, and is he really able to handle that? He really doubts it, but then he looks into Niall’s eyes. The younger boy looks so damn worried even in his headspace, and in that second Louis just wants to make sure that look is never going to be seen on Niall’s eyes.

In that moment, with Niall in his arms, he feels strong. It’s almost like he’s able to stand up against the whole fucking world as long as Niall is there with him. Louis promises himself that his dream isn’t going to be true. He won’t give up on Niall no matter how hard being with him is going to be, and no matter how much hate he’s going to get he won’t push Niall away.

He can’t, he simply can’t, end up like the boy in the dream. He wants to be happy, not watching everyone else be happy because he’s too fucking stupid to realise what he’s doing.

“Everything is going to be absolutely perfect, I’ll promise you that,” he whispers and holds Niall closer. “Now go back to sleep, baby. It’s way too early to be up.”

“I’m not tired,” Niall mumbles before he yawns cutely. He’s already half asleep, and the only reason he isn’t yet, is because he’s too stubborn to close his eyes for more than two seconds at the time.

“Of course you aren’t. How about you just close your eyes for a second then? When you’re done, we can find something to eat, and then we can go play all day. Maybe we can even eat some of all the chocolate you have left.”

“Just for a second...”  He doesn’t say more, because next a soft snore leaves him, and Louis knows he’s asleep once again, and that no damage has been done.

He looks at the watch standing on the table next to the hotel bed, and notices that it’s only 03:38 in the morning. Well now it’s not that weird that Niall couldn’t keep his eyes open. Louis himself though is nowhere near being tired. The dream has crept under his skin and made sure he’s not going to sleep the next couple of hours.

He’s still awake when Niall opens his eyes again around four hours later. The boy still looks tired, but Louis knows that’s only because he has just woken up. Give it five minutes and Niall will look like someone who has been up for hours.

Louis is out of the bed before Niall has time to react, because he knows that is Niall first gets the chance to cuddle in bed then he’ll throw a tantrum the second Louis says anything about a nappy change. Better get it done and over with as fast as possible. Just trust him on this one. He knows how his baby boy is by now, and it’s not always pretty.

“Papa,” Niall whines, like he always does when Louis leaves him that sudden, and makes grabby hands at Louis to make him come back to bed so they can snuggle.

Louis doesn’t answer, but laughs quietly at the silly boy. He returns to the bed, now with supplies for the nappy change. He tickles Niall’s sides making the boy grin a bit, before he quickly changes the nappy.

“Would you like to eat breakfast with Daddy and Dada?” Louis asks a little hesitant when he’s done changing Niall. He isn’t really all too happy about the idea himself, but he knows that if he wants Niall to trust the others again then he’ll have to help him and push him a bit.

Niall becomes quiet, and really thinks hard about the question, or well as hard as he’s able to in his headspace. “Okay,” he then whispers, like he isn’t sure if he really is comfortable with what he just agreed to, but at the same time stubborn enough that he’s not going to change his answer.

Louis is happy that Niall’s trying even as little, but he’s not quite as happy about the fact that now he’s probably not going to get to feed his baby like he usually does.

After finding his phone he sends a text to both Liam and Zayn saying, _I’m ordering room service, come eat with us?_ Most of all he’s hoping they’re still asleep and won’t notice the text until after they’re done eating, but he knows that’s not very likely.

And well he’s right. Not even five minutes later he has gotten an answer from both of them, saying that of course they’re going to come and they’ll be there in a minute.

With a sigh Louis orders breakfast for four, feeling a bit bad for not inviting Harry too, but he knows that is anyone then it’ll be Harry who’s still asleep, and beside that then Harry hates eating when he has just woken up. Still he feels bad for at least not giving him the option to come join them.

Not long after the room service is there and Liam and Zayn follow only two minutes later.

It’s kinda awkward for a moment, all three of them just staring suspiciously at each other. Then Liam sighs. “We have to stop this and make the best out of it instead.”

“I’m not the o...” Louis starts, but stops when Zayn and Liam groan loudly.

“We know, ‘you are not the one who forgot’, blah blah blah. You’re worse than Niall, and it’s not you we forgot. What are you, his bodyguard?” Zayn mutters irritated.

Louis smirks before saying, “No, to your fact I’m his Papa. Besides I’m just telling the truth.” Zayn rolls his eyes, and Liam groans again. They look at each other in a way they used to do when they were still together. It’s like they’re able to communicate without saying a word. In some ways it makes him happy to see, because he really hopes that they’ll solve their problems and get back together, but at the same time that would mean they were two against one instead of all against each other.

“Are you going to let us in?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess?” he murmurs. He takes a step back, so they can get through the door. 

Once they’re all in, Louis makes sure to take a look at the bed, where Niall is still sitting with his eyes glued to the television which shows some stupid kid show. Louis doesn’t really know if he should be surprised or not that Niall actually seems to like the show, but considered Niall being in his headspace, then he probably shouldn’t be.

“Nialler it’s time to eat now. Daddy and Dada are here,” Louis says softly to the boy who doesn’t even look at him, but just continues watching the television.

The looks on Liam and Zayn’s faces tells him how much they want to commend on his way to parenting, and that they want to say ‘no TV before breakfast’, but Louis honestly doesn’t care one bit about how they want to do things. Niall wanted to see cartoon and Louis needed him to be distracted until the food and the boys were here, so in Louis’ head it had been the perfect solution.

Louis just chuckles a bit, before going over and picking Niall up from where he’s placed in the middle of the bed. Niall whines unhappy when he’s taken away from his cartoon, but beams once he notices the food.

“Pancake, pancake,” Niall cheers with a wide grin.

“Yeah baby, pancakes for my beautiful boy. Now, Nialler, who would you want to feed you? You know you can’t eat by yourself, your messy baby,” Louis coos at the boy on his hip. He walks over to the dining table, and sits Niall down on a chair at the end of the table before taking a place beside him, leaving one chair free on the other side for Liam and Zayn to fight for.

“Papa feed me,” he answers sweetly without looking at the other two at all.

Yeah, Little Niall is definitely not as forgiving as Big Niall, and even Big Niall isn’t very forgiving so that says a lot. Louis is _so_ happy he isn’t either Zayn or Liam right now. See that would probably break his heart into very small pieces, and he wouldn’t be able to handle that. In that way he isn’t a very strong person, and he would do everything to make sure something like that doesn’t happen. Even make sure he’s the one who break a heart instead of getting his own broken.

That’s probably also what his dream tried to tell him. That it wouldn’t only be his own heart he would break if he chooses to leave Niall because of rumours or anything like that. It would also be the innocent blue eyed boy’s heart he would ruin, and this only makes him so much more determined that it’s not going to happen. He doesn’t _want_ to hurt anyone if he can make sure not to.

Zayn ends up sitting next to Niall, and Liam is sitting beside him. The whole meal is eating in almost silence, except for the silly noises coming from Louis with every bite he gives to Niall, and Niall’s laughter that follows right after. Liam and Zayn are just sorrowful looking at them playing while eating.

Once they’re all done, it’s back to being awkward. It’s stupid, like seriously just stupid. They have known each other for years, but right now they’re acting like they have just met. In some ways it’s almost scary, but it also feels like they’re actually strangers to each other, and not best friends and family. That’s the thought that makes Louis understand. Three or four months ago those things would have been what they’d have described each other with, but as the things are at the moment, Louis isn’t so sure anymore, and if he wants to avoid this awkwardness for the future he have to change that. They’ll all have to change that. They’ll have to act like the family they have made themselves to be.

Louis pulls Niall into him, so the boy is almost sitting on his lap, and whispers into his eat, “Can you do me a favour, baby? All I want you to do is to tell Dada and Daddy about your morning. That’s all. Can you do that for me?” Niall nods determined, but before saying anything to his other ‘daddies’, he crawls fully onto Louis’ lap and takes a deep breath.

Then he begins telling. With a small voice he tells Liam and Zayn everything that had happened this morning, from how Louis had almost flown out of bed when he had woken up, to the cartoon he had just seen. They all just look fondly at him all along his quiet speech, and listen along to every small word that leaves his mouth.

“Sounds like you have had a lovely morning, baby boy,” Zayn mumbles and really looks like someone who wants to hug the younger boy, but doesn’t really dare to actually do so. Niall just nods while looking cautiously at him.

“Go give Daddy a hug,” Louis whispers to Niall. Niall sends him a glance he isn’t quite sure how to read, but it could easily mean something like ‘are you stupid or something?’

He does do it though. More than a little hesitant he leaves Louis’ lap and walk over to where Zayn is sitting. Carefully he puts his arms around a very shocked Zayn, who sniffles a bit before returning the hug with everything he got.

¤¤¤

After that morning everything generally begins going better than before. There’re still times where Niall simply can’t seem to be anywhere near Zayn and Liam without getting either angry as shit or so sad that he’ll cry for hours, but by now he has more good days than he has bad ones when it comes to the two of them, and most of the time he’s actually quite happy when they’re all around.

It isn’t only Liam and Zayn he gets better with. The more Harry’s around, the sadder is Niall whenever he isn’t there. A couple of times he even slips and accidently calls Harry Baba, but what’s even more surprising than the fact that Niall actually considers Harry as his dad, is that Harry doesn’t react to it at all. He didn’t even blink the first time the word left Niall’s lips where everyone else was beyond shocked. He doesn’t encourage him either though, and just let Niall call him whatever he feels like, and treats him after it. If he one day wants Harry as his Baba, Harry is the best dad he could be, but when Niall prefers to call him uncle Hazzy, then that’s completely fine too for both of them.

In a way Louis kinda thinks it’s Harry and Niall that have the most functioning relationship. There’re never any questions about _why_ or _how_ they make it work, the thing is that it just does, and Louis truly finds that amazing.

His own relationship with Niall is full of questions and most of all a big fat threat hanging over their head about how long Louis will be able to keep going. Liam and Zayn’s relationship to the boy is slightly different from Louis’. Their problems are more about trust, and about how they can prove to the boy that those things that happened aren’t going to happen ever again. They’re working their arses out for it, at the same time they’re trying to get things to work between them too, which Louis thinks it the best way possible to get Niall to be truly comfortable with them again, because as long as they’re just Liam and Zayn instead of LiamandZayn, then it’ll never be anything like how things were when Niall would have trusted them with his life.

Besides they’re really goddamn cute together, so it would really be a shame if they didn’t get back together.

So yeah, things are getting better. Everyone’s happy most of the time like they should be. They’re all working hard for things to get back to normal even though they all know that it’s never going to happen. Not really. Way too many bad as well as good things has happened for things to be exactly as they were, but Louis doesn’t think that’s something to be sad about, because really he has never been happier than now surrounded by his family.

There’s always a day again tomorrow, but Louis, as well as all the other boys, will damn well make sure that not even a single minutes it going to waste, because they all mean way too much to just let them go without enjoying them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked this shot please don't hesitate leaving kudos or a comment with your thoughts on the story :)  
> Wanna read more by me? Either go to my profile to find already written stories or subscribe and get an email every time I publish something new!


End file.
